Women are natural caretakers. We take care of husbands, partners, children and pets. We take of aging parents, bosses, employees, and coworkers. We invariably put ourselves on the bottom of the list. Whether we work full time, part time or stay at home, women feel guilty about focusing on our own needs. Yet, without time away from the everyday demands of life, we have less to give to those who need us.

While an annual spa vacation may seem frivolous, there’s scientific data that supports your need to get away. In one study of more than 3,300 Japanese government workers, frequency of spa use was linked to better physical and mental health, including improved sleep and fewer sick days. A similar study conducted by researchers from Florida State University and George Mason University showed that spa therapy reduced absenteeism from work and hospitalizations. And, a University of Pittsburgh study of 1,400 people, showed that engaging in enjoyable leisure activities lowered stress hormones and blood pressure, and led to better overall health.

When you travel by plane, the pre-flight safety demonstration clearly instructs you to put on your own oxygen mask before you put one on your child. This analogy is a metaphor for the spa vacation; you can’t nurture your child or your family unless you’ve taken care of yourself. So, with Mother’s Day right around the corner, share this with your husband. A spa vacation is the perfect gift!

The next time you’re feeling stressed about work, life, the clutter in your house, your unanswered emails, and the pressure to constantly multi-task, ask yourself when was the last time you took a deep breath and put the oxygen mask on yourself? If you can’t make the spa escape happen, do what you can to mimic that experience: take a long walk, listen to your favorite music, take a scented bath with candlelight, hold a puppy, or treat yourself to a manicure. You’ll be a better mother, wife, partner, and employee if you do.

Happy Mother’s Day!

As the mother of twin teenagers, the baby and toddler years are a distant, but precious memory. Yet, here are some specific questions I’m often asked about managing multiples.

1.  What is the greatest misconception for managing multiple births?
People think that it’s so much more difficult than managing one baby.  If you get your babies on a schedule, it’s actually easier than having children that are different ages.

2. How can moms be best prepared for the arrival of twins/multiples?
Read the book about sleep training BEFORE the babies arrive!  Whether you subscribe to Ferber or Weisbluth, what’s important is that you have a plan and you’re prepared to implement it. I sleep trained my twins at 3 months, and they had the same bedtime for the next 8 YEARS!  Don’t underestimate how important a good night of sleep is for you!

3. What baby gear is most practical when caring for multiple babies? Which items can moms do without?
Try to limit the toys and accessories you buy, particularly those that can’t be folded up and put away at the end of the day (like the exersaucer).  And, you certainly don’t need two of everything.

4. What was your greatest challenge in raising multiple babies?When the babies cry at the same time, it can be a little stressful.  My strategy was to soothe the baby that could be calmed the fastest while letting the other baby cry.

5. What are some of the advantages in having multiples?
In some ways, it’s actually easier!  If you get them on a schedule then your babies will always nap at the same time, eat at the same time, take classes at the same time, and go to sleep at the same time.  This allows you to have down time during naps and bedtime.  Also, your child always has a built in playmate that’s at the same developmental age.

6. What advice would you share with first-time parents expecting multiples?
Get the babies on a schedule ASAP!!  The first three months are an endurance test no matter whether you have one baby or more.  It gets enjoyable once they’re sleeping through the night (see my answer to Question 2), and that should happen within the first 6 months depending on the size of your babies.  The most important thing to remember though is to savor every minute.  It goes by SO fast!!